this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
