I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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