She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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