I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
