I'm so fucking centered right now
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
