Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
