I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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