My underwear smells like fireworks.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
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the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
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I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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