He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
