I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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