Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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