So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
