But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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