Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Randomize
