you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
