As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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