Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Damn victory sex feels great
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