hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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