Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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