I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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