You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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