Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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