I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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