All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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