Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
