Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
