I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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