definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
