Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
