He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
