i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
