Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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