I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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