Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
