wrigley field is MILF paradise
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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