i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
