Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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