I cockslap morals
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
