I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?