if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?