i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.