What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
