He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
