And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
