i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
there's paper in my vomit.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
