Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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