I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize