i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
