i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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