OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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