i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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