its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
