these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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