I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
