Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
