just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
