What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
