It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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