You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
