Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
